Becoming Who I Already Am - A Published Author

For a long time, I always felt that publishing was something I was meant to do, but writing is what I was born to do. I was born in 1977, the youngest child of a single mother in the inner city of Grand Rapids, to be a Scribe of the Times. There has always been this inclination that my birth was necessary and significant to this world; I wasn't meant to take up space.

But as I got older and the innocent self-affirming mindset I grew up with was replaced by a feeling of unworthiness and uncertainty, I put my dream of publishing my stories and poems on the back burner. Even though teachers and family members and friends proclaimed that I was blessed with an extraordinary gift of creative expression (in writing and in art), I simply didn't believe in myself. So, I hid my gift, hid this uncanny ability to put into manifestation that which existed in the deep caverns of my soul.

And I never pursued publication - at least not mainstream publication.

I wrote poems and drew pictures, giving them away to people I loved. But that was all. Finally, at the age of 27, I self-published a poetry/devotional book through iUniverse. The book was beautiful, and I did feel this growing seed deep within that said my words were supposed to be captured in book form when I finally held the finished product in my hands. But the problem was I just assumed people in my life would buy it. I didn't really want to sell it in the mainstream marketplace because I kept telling myself that I wasn't a salesperson; I couldn't promote this book even though I had poured my soul into. Somehow that felt wrong.

So nobody really bought it - not the majority of the people at church, not my pastors, not even my family at first. The problem wasn't that they didn't love me or I wasn't a good writer. I knew I had a voice; I knew I was born to make a sound. They didn't know even when the book was available or where to get it from because I didn't really believe in myself as a writer. I didn't believe in my words or my ability. And the truth was...that was wrong too!

The reality though is that I never stopped writing. Even though I was a wimp when it came to selling "The Divine Romance" I was not a wimp when it came to putting my pen to the paper as I had been born to do. I kept getting ideas and feeling like if I didn't write them down, I would creatively combust.

And before long I started to believe again, as I did as a little girl, that my words are meant to be expressed to the world. They should never, ever be hidden again.

So, three years after "The Divine Romance" came out, I have worked diligently on completing two more manuscripts: "We Run From Ourselves" (a fictionalized narrative) and "Father to the Fatherless" (a autobiographical proclamation, declaring God's call for saving our youth). Instead of self-publishing again, I have felt the mandate to send out my work to publishing companies that accept unsolicited manuscripts and to available agents. I believe in the work God has given me to do, and I know there is somebody out there that will believe in the work too.

I am sending the words out, after doing my homework and carefully formulating my proposals. I am seeking for that which I was born to obtain - the opportunity to speak to a receptive audience with the hope that the world will be impacted by my words.