Thursday, August 13, 2009

Gaining Clarity for my Next Season

I never thought I would want to come back home to Grand Rapids. I never thought I would miss it. But the funny thing is as much as I want to be adventurous and move somewhere else by myself, I know I am not ready to leave my family and friends just yet. I know at some point (perhaps when I am married) I will leave Michigan. But being separated from my godchildren and nieces and nephews is not desirable at this time. And also, I believe that I have found my next church home. If you recall, earlier this year, I was wrestling with leaving my current church in Port Huron. It's not that it isn't a progressive ministry; I just believe that I have outgrown it and need something more.

I do believe leaving that ministry has to be strategic and planned by God. I can't just walk out because I love my godmother deeply, sincerely, and because she is working so hard to maintain the ministry, I can't just walk out on her. But I am planning to talk to her about it when she and I return from our respective vacations. I know that I cannot stay forever, and my heart strings are being pulled in a different direction.

God will give me the time and the season that I can return home to Grand Rapids and subsequently to leave the ministry that I have been a part of for the last nearly 12 years. It's not easy but I know the right time will present itself soon.

Sunday, August 2, 2009


Apparently black people from Port Huron don't like the 4-H Fair. Must have something to do with the Confederate flags flying around.

And yet my friend and her husband and her precious baby daughter were there with me, laughing at the possibility that there were really people there that didn't think we belonged in the vicinity. But as always, we do belong. I make it quite clear that I don't live in the boxes my grandparents and great-grandparents had to. I remember the stories of segregation and hatred and brutality and Confederate flags symbolizing closed doors, and I stare into the eyes of those that are surprised to see me at the Goodell's County Fair. I stare into their eyes and by staring at them dare them to say a word to me about the self-imposed reality they live in. It's not my reality, I say silently. I have somewhere to get to - a place my forefathers never thought they would ever go. So if these arrogant, racist strangers want to stay in a place of separation that's their choice, but as long as I have the opportunity to do so, I will show up wherever there's corndogs and ferris wheels and country music. Because I can.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Interesting Country Type Stuff

I am about to go to the Goodell's County Fair with a good sister friend of mine in a few minutes. Let me say this first. I am definitely a big city girl, but I do like a little bit of country. This means music and country fairs and bonfires with smores. But when it comes down to actually living on a farm, I suddenly morph into big city chick. We'll see how the city girl likes a 4-H Fair...