Friday, December 4, 2009

Frustration and Stress and then...PEACE...

Peace is not the absence of war. It is the embrace of the Prince of Peace in the midst of war.

I am learning that everyday now, as I wrestle with my emotions about the situation my family is in right now. I think of the Scripture I read this morning before beginning my day today:

John 14:27 (Amplified Version) "Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]"

I read this with new eyes, as if the familiarity was no longer the blindfold that had shielded my eyes each time I had read it before. I read it while a soft whisper resounding in my ear assured me that Christ was in the room with me, as I swallowed the words.

I can choose to accept the peace that Christ gives. He gives it to me freely, but I have to reach out my hand to take it. I can refuse it and try to remedy situations like the ones I am facing now, as my niece and her sisters' lives hang in the balance, precariously. I can try to block out my emotions by listening to music that does not feed my achey soul and instead feeds my lust for a carnal distraction. I can try to be a stoic, mature person whom is not touched by the reality that the children in my life are depending on me to pray for them and instead choose to hope for the best instead of lifting them up.

Or...I can grab hold to this Word and say, "I choose Peace."

I choose Christ's peace today. I choose to trust Christ when He says His peace is not like the world's peace because that peace has never been a sustaining, perpetual peace. It has been fleeting and momentarily fulfilling. Then it disappears. Like it did yesterday when I stalked around my house like a raging lunatic, shouting out my defiance and declarations.

I choose to believe that Christ's peace is more than alcohol, boyfriends, food, shopping, and even the distraction of work. It is that which stays with me in the night when there is nothing else to do and no one else to take my focus.

I will stop allowing myself to be agitated and angry and a cursing Peter. I stop allowing myself to become unsettled, fearful, intimidated, cowardly...disturbed. I do not want to be a disturbed individual. No one wants to be around disturbed individuals.

I choose to accept Christ's peace today.