She is in the other room, preparing for the day. He has told her over and over that he does not want the family to have a sad Christmas Day. He wants her to celebrate it as they always have for their large family. The children are used to a certain affect on this date - bright and shiny decorations, millions of presents under the tree, and lots of goodies to eat. He knows that because of finances some things had to be sacrificed, but he does not want his family to suffer. He is also aware that his very life was being sacrificed, in the years to come, Christmas Day will always be bittersweet. He wishes, just like most men, that he could prevent that.
It is out of his hands. But what is not out of his hands is his ability to write words that can help his wife know his thoughts and heart and feelings before he was to leave for HEAVEN.
He shifts uncomfortably in bed as he prepares to write, the pain in his body being almost unbearable. Thoughts fill his head of the first time he ever saw her, how he felt when he laid eyes on her, and how he knew then that they were meant to be. Tears fill his eyes as he considers that they really didn't have enough time to express the love he knows they shared from day one. They had only been married for 18 years; when the commitment was made, they thought for sure they would grow old together - retiring in some warm destination once all their beautiful children were grown and gone, living their own lives. He stares down at his frail arm, once so muscular and manly. He feels like his spirit is outgrowing his body, and he only has so much time to write the words.
He presses the tip of the pen to the paper and begins to write...
As an onlooker at a funeral that should not have been taking place, I listened to words a husband wrote to his wife on a cold Christmas Day. He wrote the words until he had no more strength to tell her how much he loved her, adored her, thanked her for their life together. My heart ached as I heard him say he did not want to leave her, leave their family, leave their children; yet he knew it would be their last Christmas together. He thanked her for the richness of their marriage; he said that his life was blessed because of her.
A few days before he wrote that letter, I was standing at an altar staring into the eyes of a man that I loved and committed to stay with until death. So, as I sat there with the audience of concerned friends, loved ones, and community members listening to the man's letter, my heart began to break. And yet, it began to beat with an intensity to love my husband even more - my husband, waiting for me at home. The letter was from a man dying of cancer on Christmas Day but vibrantly and evidently still in love with his wife. He refused to leave this earth before he said everything he needed to say to her.
Today, this post is a dedication to Debbie and Ricky - this color whose very lives together was a testimony and a landmark for me on my journey toward being the best wife I can be. For the sake of privacy, I cannot post their pictures. But I wanted to share this story, this moment in time, with the world - a world that is broken in so many places. This man, though he was suffering, loved his wife. That Christmas morning, his only thought was thanking God for the gift he had been given - the woman he called his "Angel" several times throughout the letter.
At the end of the letter, he asked her to give him one more chance to say more about his love for her. I do not know if he ever got the chance (at least on paper). But the one thing that will always be honored and cherished in her heart, as her life goes on, is how he pressed that pen into that paper and the words inside his heart flowed out. HE wrote that for HER. HIS words on THAT paper will remain, etched into it like stone. HE loved and loves HER still...right from heaven to here on earth.
In the Lord's Prayer, there is a statement that says "Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." This is made more clear to me now what that really means. God's will is love - LOVE LIKE THIS. In other words, as this story exemplifies, the prayer is that LOVE be done on earth as it is in heaven. Ricky is in heaven, loving forever more the "love of his life" - his Debbie. It is still working and making an impact even though he is physically absent.
Love never dies.
NEVER.
I thank God for that. I have learned that in my own life. OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
I want to dedicate a song to this couple and to us all...for remembrance and honor. It reminds me of their love affair...please watch this and remember that at the end of the day, love is all that matters. And nothing in this world can stop it - not even the grave. (Jesus overcame that.)
I pray that Debbie knows this...the morning after her husband's funeral...the morning after she laid eyes on the man that wrote that letter for the last time in this earth realm...the morning after she woke up in an empty bed and with a broken heart...THIS morning when their youngest children will undoubtedly enter the room and ask for him.
I pray for all that have had to say goodbye to those gone on before and felt their heart breaking in the process...hoping that one day God would help them pick up the pieces. I've been there too. But as life has carried on, I have learned to open my heart again. That is why December 22 will always be a life-changing day for me.
Here is a book that I read, that helped me get through my own process and helped me understand that love has a way of finding you again. Because it will and it can and it does...
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