The Photographer

Last night I sat down with one of the most creative and amazing photographers that I have had the benefit of meeting and getting to know. I have seen him around town, taking pictures at various events and parties, and I wondered who he really was and where he had really come from. I mean, yes, we all come from a physical place. We are all born somewhere after being conceived like every other human that has walked the earth. But the part of us that is not created from dividing cellular molecules, is the part that is birthed somewhere else, truly conceived in the mind and heart of God.

What part of God did he come from?

Then I attended a Photo Party, invited by a friend of mine, and he was the photographer. Of course, I knew that, as the friend that invited me is his cousin. I knew that he would be taking the pictures of the women that were there, hoping to feel beautiful for just one night.

I went and participated in what was probably the best night I'd had in a long time. I did feel physically beautiful. There was a professional make-up artist, all kinds of backdrops and chairs, poses and lights. I felt like a model (albeit, a plus sized model), and the pictures turned out gorgeous. While taking pictures was great, I was more interested in seeing the man behind that camera. I took the opportunity at that event to get to know him. I had made a declaration that I would not let another chance to meet and get to know amazing people slip by me. I had done that already and paid a great price for it that I can never undo. That is the point of the third book that I am getting ready to publish, but I will get into that in a later post.

I met with him last night, a couple weeks after the party, to discuss a proposal for a photography session for said book, and we ended up talking for a little more than two hours about art and writing, his career as a photographer and my career as a social worker/writer/artist. I was able to pick his brains about his "obsession" as he called it and now I have dubbed it. He is obsessed with taking pictures, capturing moments, making art. When I thought about what he does in relation to what I do as a writer and an artist, I am so totally not where I should be in terms of emotional investment.

I think I have lost that "thing" that made the magic come alive. I have been too busy trying to subdue the creativity within.

His very words of calling what he does an obsession challenged me to take a look again at what used to be my heartbeat, my breath, my life. I was a girl that never went a day without writing or drawing something just because. I did not go without reading a book, getting lost in words and imagination. I sang every day. I looked for the poem in the mundane. I sought out the music in the mediocre.

He said he has an obsession.

I am just starting to wake up to the real identity of who I am meant to be. I am meant to be obsessed with something greater than myself - first starting with God and then ending with the purpose He put inside me to make a lasting impression in the universe. What's the point of living if you never leave a mark? What's the point of inhaling and exhaling if no one knows you have creative breath in your body? Your whole existence breathes when you create something, when you pour out of yourself, when you manifest the dream of what God intended.

The book I read during my time with God this morning talked about purpose, about staying within God's purpose for my life no matter what. I thought I was obsessive about the written word, about drawing for the sake of feeling the pencil slide across the manila paper, about sculpting clay into beauty. I think now I was only obsessive about talking about it and had shied away from actually jumping in so deep that wave after wave after wave of God's creativity washes over me again.

I was not getting up and going out to see the sunrise, just to take the newness and transform it into a poem or a painting. I was not pulling over to the side of the road to capture the essence of the scenery that demands that I stop and take pause at the world God has created for us to enjoy. I was not stopping the work of getting through the dangerous monotony of JUST making the donuts, JUST earning money to pay bills, JUST tolerating life while knowing life is really just passing me by. I was not doing the very thing that made my childhood fertile soil for growing up - those things that kept me alive when everything around me was dying.

He said he has an obsession.

He said he has to take pictures. Sometimes he gets tired of taking pictures of people, so he has the inner discipline (I believe) to always pay attention to what is going on around him. He isn't just hustling this thing - making money or rather letting the money make him. That would cause him to lose the "thing" that is giving him the motivation to lift that camera one more time. He is becoming who he always was, even when he didn't know it. But God knew it. And now he is flowing in it.

We are all blessed because of it.

So what part of God is he?

If we are part of Him, created in His image, then we bring a special part of Him with us when we grace this earth with our physical presence. This photographer is the part of God that is so needed in this earth.

He is the part of God that sees what is deeper than the superficial reality we all co-exist in. He has God's eyes. He looks at the forms around him - human, animal, plant - sometimes clothed in the finest of coverings and sometimes in the rawest of forms and captures it all before it escapes back into the matrix. Those eyes pull out the details of raw emotion - fear, anger, sadness, hurt and transform them into the beauty, truth, joy, and grace we overlook. Sometimes, it is too much to look at; most of the time you fall right in to the vision as he sees it.

I like that he is not able to confine himself into a mode of being just one kind of photographer. His dexterity with the camera reminds me that artists, writers, musicians, and really any creative being cannot afford to be afraid in this day and age of being anything less than free in their craft and abilities. Our talk made me go home and re-think what I have allowed myself to be transformed into it.

I know how to DO creativity - put on that creative flair. But have I lost how to BE the very essence of spirit, of creativity? Have I lost me along the way, bordering the fence of true ability/raw talent and commercialism?

He HAS to capture the life that we all take for granted, so we will learn to look closer. I think deep within him is this passionate heartbeat for the mystery underlying the accepted fantasy we call living, and he has an eye that has always been able to REALLY see the things the rest of us have grown immune to.

I have no doubt that he will be able to make my book come alive, make my words spring to life. The pictures will tell the story of the words that tell the story of the life that is a living story written and read of men.

"And God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness." Genesis 1:3-4