I have been asked a lot lately why I decided to stay in Michigan and endure the financial struggles during this season of my life when I could have gone pretty much anywhere and done better. I thought it was a silly question at first when I consider the reason I am staying.
But still...
Why would I rent a house in a place I do not necessarily want to be?
Why would I put the brakes on my dreams of relocation and having a fab single life?
Why in the world would I embrace struggle when my gifts and my talents would make room for me in the presence of great men and women (in the undefined "out there somewhere")?
Why? Why? Why?
Am I stupid? Slow? Self-punishing?
The simple answer is no. No, I'm not a fool. I know how to make sound decisions, even when it seems like I would be better served in a different environment. I consider myself to be very intelligent (or at least, I have some mother-wit). And I have learned that when I trust God in my decision-making, I end up more blessed than I could have ever been if I only trust in my own wisdom.
I decided to stay in Michigan, even in light of all the circumstances I have to face right now because of a little girl:
A little girl whose big hazel eyes and curly ringlets won me the first time I laid eyes on her...
A little girl whose vivacious personality and immeasurable talents and gifts have caused many people to be drawn to her...
A little girl who has suffered through much more than I am going through right now...
A little girl that needs someone to care...
A little girl that is crying out for help...
A little girl that calls me in tears when her heart has been broken (like last Thursday, when her foster mother called her a selfish f**king b**ch because she was told the little girl wants to live independent of the foster care system, on her own)...
A little girl that doesn't understand why her life is collapsing around her and needs her Auntie Mya right now...
She is why I am staying.
If you can only do one thing in life, if you only get the chance to accomplish one feat, make sure you let that one thing be an unselfish act. Let it be something that impacts and changes the life of another person. And let it be God-inspired because when He calls you to do a certain thing, He will give you the resources to see that thing through.
I had to stay in Michigan in order to get licensed for foster care and to provide an immediate home for that little girl. I could not leave and then try to help her. So when the question was raised if I would leave for Nashville or Chicago or Timbuktu, I had to say "No." I had to lay my desires down on the altar, the place of sacrifice, so my little girl could live a life where she could smile again. And you know what, I haven't really wanted for or needed anything that hasn't been provided thus far.
Remember, ultimately your "real" life is not about you.
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