Monday, December 15, 2014

When God is Enough

The months have truly escaped me with so much life going on that it is hard to stop long enough to write about it.  I apologize for that.  Summer was way too short for my liking and then fall came and went with little fanfare.  It is December now, the season of Advent, and Christmas is already next week.  I am looking forward to a break from the constant movement and working and planning.  I need to be quiet while I am waiting for the Lord to manifest Himself in the midst of the sadness and grief, the pain and the hints of joy.  I am needing a reprieve from the pace.

Everybody needs that.

Everybody's body needs a break.  We need to rest when life gets to be too much.

And for me, lately, it has been.

I'm not complaining.  Please understand that.  I am just aware that I need to stop moving long enough to take it all in.  I need to breathe in the experiences of this season because when I am breathing, I am focusing on how much I need God.  I need Him to walk me through the difficult seasons and the blessed seasons combined.  Very seldom is there a separation between the two.  While I am thanking God for bringing a child into my life that I can impact with all of me, I am also cognizant of all those who will not be entering 2015 with me.  And I take it all in...very seriously.

That is what you do when you are busy living.  Thanking God for His manifest Presence in the rawness of life.  That is the best and the most mature response you can give - even when you don't think that response is enough.  You want to do more but know that unless the Lord gives you the next instruction, there is nothing you can do that will change anything.

I told my mom yesterday that I feel so out of control with everything (the bad and the good) and I honestly thank God for that feeling.  It sounds crazy to say that, but I recognize that I have no control over anything.  But He has the control over everything whether others want to acknowledge that or not.

I thank God that He is big enough and powerful enough and omniscient enough to handle everything that I can't.  I thank God that the atheists are wrong.  I thank God that He is enough in this season when I feel so inadequate. 

For me that is gift enough.

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