I turned 36 a few days ago and one of my Facebook posts stated that I am 36 but I feel 26. Some of my oh-so-kind Facebook friends said that I look anywhere between 18 and 26. Truthfully, I do feel much younger than my birth certificate says I am and that is a wonderful thing. The reality is God has graced me to be more vibrant and full of life than I have ever been. Perhaps as I am getting older, I am actually "mounting up with wings as eagles" and "running and not growing weary, walking and not fainting". My husband says that when I reach 40 I will feel my age; the joints will start creaking and things will start hurting and I won't move as fast. What he doesn't know is that I am praying that he will actually feel like I do instead of me feeling like he does. I want him to have vitality and strength and health.
We have a beautiful home to move into in a few weeks, and there is so much more to life than creaking through it, hoping for Heaven. I definitely don't want us to live out the rest of our earthbound days with that mentality. Why should we? I don't believe that is God's best for anybody.
This morning, I turned on my computer at home and began finishing up another chapter in my next book. It has taken me some time to begin writing about Esther and the process she went through to live out her greatest destiny. This Bible character is my favorite person to study in biblical history. The Old Testament book that was named for her is so significant in my life, dating back to age 17 when someone mysteriously wrote the name on a t-shirt at a camp, describing me. I never found out who wrote it, but even then I had long held the suspicion that she was someone that had lived a life that I was born to live too. Even back then, I knew that my name might as well had been Esther for the significant journey my life was destined to take.
So this morning, I sat at my dining room table with my laptop, tapping away. And the thought came to me that while she may not have known the direction her life was going when it was falling apart, God had a plan for her...not just for her people using her, but a plan for her. Of course, there is always a big-picture scenario in everyone's life. We all have a role to play in the whole scheme of things. But privately, individually, separately we also have plans for our own lives. God has something planned on the horizon. And it's not just for someone else. It's for you and me too.
Esther was raised as an adopted daughter to her cousin when her parents died. She ultimately had a heritage that was salvaged. But she could have ended up as a beggar in the street. She could have ended up without a place to call home. God had a better plan for her - a plan that not only included adoption, but also included a home in a palace and a role as a queen over 127 provinces. Her life had value and that value was much bigger than she may have realized. That is what I believe God wants for all of us: to finish the process and live our best life, destiny on purpose. We may not understand why our paths have to go the directions they go or why we have to overcome so much pain and loss at times, but there is more to fulfillment than we even know. We don't have to have all the answers.
We just need to develop trust in God - more and more everyday. Sometimes He asks us to trust Him in the craziest ways and through the craziest times in our lives, when everything seems to be falling apart. Two years ago when I thought I had lost love for good, God had a greater plan and today, I am married to a king and moving into a palace. God knew my destiny even when I didn't...especially when I didn't know it or where I would end up. But I have learned, if nothing else, that that is the point of the process for each of us.
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