In Study

So, as is my usual position here at the Department of Human Services, I am actively writing another Home Study for a potential foster family.  I have taken the time to get to know them, in general (because in deep, who is really known all that well?  I am still getting to know myself, soooo....).  But this is my job to write the life story of saints.

Yes, saints....

Because who else would open their doors wide and let strangers inside - strangers that are prying and peeking in cupboards, under beds, in buried pasts and pulling apart the intricate layers of the lives that have been lived?

Who else would let the world all up in their house and place their lives under a microscope?

Who else would be okay with someone with a badge coming into their lives with rules and laws and regulations just so they can take care of children that are orphaned for one reason or another?

Who?

People who in retrospect and in vision have nothing to hide.  People that understand that perhaps their hard beginnings can help little disrupted lives have a better future.  People who don't see themselves as saints, at all.

I am typing the stories of two people who have been through their own private hells.  They have shared with me the reality that they are far from perfect but a perfect love in Christ has brought them near.  Yes, I know I am supposed to act like I don't share their faith when I walk through the DHS doors.  I understand that faith and politics and government intertwined is messy.  But, I think people are messy.  Lives are messy.  And having faith in God is something that can clean my mess up...not all at once, but in time.

I am writing the story so the people that give approval for this family to care for children can know the family.  How hard is that?  How can I introduce two people that are messy in some ways like me?  How can I tell their stories and say that they have the potential to be great foster parents?  How can I say this, knowing that they might make mistakes or have huge opinions about where the children come from or rub some the wrong way - including the parents that birthed the children to the point where they are?  And in the reverse, how can I write fully about the ways their lives have been shaped into more positive influences, despite where they have been and where their journeys have taken them?

As a writer at heart, a scribe, I am simply writing down the souls of the people so others can read them.  I am telling their truths, being honest that they will get tired and make mistakes and wonder if they were crazy some days.  I am writing down how willing they are to swim in the muck and the mire of life with other messy people.  I am writing down how they are willing to be changed by the very children they hope to impact.

Their hearts, these two that I am writing about, are open to the possibilities.

Every Home Study I write makes me wonder and dig deeper and even revisit whether any of us really know what we are getting into.  When you love these children, THESE CHILDREN, it is never easy.  We sign on to be challenged and have our hearts thrown into tailspins and have our lives opened up for the whole world to see.  We sign on to be raised on crosses and crucified in the courtrooms of public opinions.

We sign on to be Christ in the flesh...hands and feet and hearts and minds...willing to lay all that we are and ever were down.

I am writing the story of a family that understands this.  This is part of their story too....the laying down and dying to self.  This is being written and read of men....