Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Hard Words

A week ago I had to tell someone something that could potentially hurt for eons. I had waited for a long, long time to break the news to her that something in the past may still be existing under the surface in the heart of someone she loves. Then I wondered if I had done the wrong thing because what if I lose her? What if I lose the one person on this earth that has known me and loved me anyway and isn't entirely related to me? What if telling the secret is the most unfair thing I could have ever done?

I second guessed myself all week, not texting her, not calling her after it was all said and done. I wondered if her marriage falling apart would be my fault because I didn't keep the secret.

So what do you do when you love someone and you know something that could break their hearts into a million tiny pieces?

She told her sister later that she wished she didn't know; she wished I hadn't told her.

And now...there is this impenetrable silence from her. I do not know if believing the truth must be told is enough anymore. It does cost a lot to tell the truth. Nobody ever tells you that when you are learning the difference between the truth and lies. Certain truths are costly. The truth Jesus died for on the cross was costly and every day those who are followers and believers have to die their own private deaths for the same cause.

I have wrestled with telling the truth but at the end of the day, even if it means losing someone to the winds of change, I'd rather tell it than sit in silence and watch them be betrayed. I can't live with knowing someone is being lied to over and over.

But still...sometimes I wish I could bury my head in the sand.

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