Change of Habit

Seven years ago, I developed a great habit of running away.

It was a wonderful feeling to be escaping in my car toward time with God and writing just as Spring time was erupting over the gray horizon of Winter with it's cold and apparent inconsiderate snow and ice and wind.  I would pack for a few days and go one of two places that I lived the whole preceding year for.  Some years I would go to both places, feeling doubly blessed.

The first escape was to the Calvin College Festival of Faith and Writing held bi-annually on the school's beautiful campus in Grand Rapids.  For three days, I would be surrounded by writers and artists and readers...loving the atmosphere and feeling entirely happy being with so many word-lovers and bookworms.  The first time I went in 2004 I thought I was in Heaven on earth - the very best place I could be.

The second mode of escapism was to the Revolution Christian Ministries' Annual Retreat, re-named every year to signify the spiritual season that the time of worship and praise of God, teaching, and fellowship away from the distractions, craziness, and monotony of life represented.  I longed for that environment all year long.

Those events have been my habits...my good and nurturing habits that feed the writer and worshipper of God that I strive to be, that truly I have always been.

But this year...so much has changed...and these habits have followed suit.  My new life as a married woman has been a new blessing and joy.  The life I had before definitely led to this moment - those times of attending a Book Festival and a Church Retreat led to this.

But, I didn't bargain for how some things change that you really don't want to.

The Festival is next year....no escape this year.

The Retreat is for members of the Church I called home until this year, when I had to find a new Church to attend with my husband.  So, no escape there either.

My post today is not a complaint; it is more an acknowledgment that I need a new place to escape to and this time with the man God blessed me to love.  Life does bring changes and with those changes, new habits.  One thing I am realizing about marriage, which is something I have truly longed for, is the development of new traditions and good habits that make each union unique.  So basically, as my life is changing I am wondering how God will establish us together, find new places for us to escape to, because unlike what some believe, retreat is actually a good thing in some instances.

Leaving distraction and tiredness and trying environments with equally trying people are the winds of change that give your wings the motivation to soar to a place closer to the throne of God.  And that is what this time of year needs to be for us now.  My prayer is that God will give us the place of rest we can physically escape to.