I am sitting here listening to the interview and the brief video of Victoria Christopher Murray and Reshonda Tate Billingsley on Bill Thompson's "Eye on Books" website, along with other authors that are highlighted on it this week. While it is refreshing to hear authors talk about the one thing I live for (writing, writing, and more writing), it is also disheartening sometimes. Ever since I was a little girl all I have ever wanted to do was be surrounded by books, art, and music and write books, make art, and play/sing to music. With such a broad landscape to pull a creative life from, it can be hard to stay in a place of motivation if it feels that you are only doing for yourself, releasing tension with your hands to paper.
I have found it to be distracting to want something so badly and never get the opportunity to live like these women - traveling the country, reading their books to audiences, being interviewed on radio programs, and being able to keep writing for years and years to come with an established fan base. Sometimes it makes me sad enough to just put the pen, paintbrush, or guitar down. I have done this. I am still doing this. In my heart I know it is wrong to wallow in self pity when no one buys books or gives feedback if they did. But then, days like today, I realize that the pouring out of a creative gift should never be abruptly ended just because the river is flowing to sites unseen.
The stopping is the distraction away from the gift. The ending of a thing before it is done is the obstruction of vision and view that kills a project, a poem, a song. It kills you, and before you know it, everything has shut down. You are no longer happy and joyful - talking, smiling, opening yourself to the world at all - even if that world is only one person. The halting is the precursor to the procrastination that intercepts starting again.
So for my artist friends, my writers friends, my musician friends....how do you stay focused? How do you battle the war of distraction and procrastination? This is the area that many of us that hold claim to artistic endeavors wrestle with. The reality is evident that these are the tactics of an unseen enemy. But what is the weapon you use to move forward in writing, art, or music? What is the key?
Listening to these Black women writers' voices talking about writing a book together reminds me of the work that I am doing now, helping others bring their voices to life. The problem I am running into is the distraction of waiting for responses when others don't understand their role in the flow. Waiting for responses can be a distraction in itself because you begin to wonder if you are really talented enough to help yourself more or less anyone else.
How do you not give up on the gift, the contract, the comradery, and the ability to help? How do you stand still when you want to leave it all along and ignore the urgency to tell the story of life again and again.
Here is the short video of the life these authors are living now. I pray one day I will too.
http://youtu.be/KNbhrFpZ6Zc
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